Rants, Raves, & Random Thoughts

Shameless self-promotion of my writing skills or lack there of.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Dar-Wednesday

That’s right, it is time for another installment of The Darwin Awards.


(25 March 2007, Oregon) Anthony was stopped for speeding. The 20-year-old was driving a vehicle that checked out as stolen in Idaho. The deputy called for backup, and placed the suspect in a patrol car. Here, Anthony had his first great idea! He thought he could outsmart the police, a notion that often proves harmful to the perp.


While the officers had their backs turned, Anthony managed to move his handcuffed hands from behind to in front of his body. His second great idea was to wiggle through the small window to the front seat of the patrol car. His third great idea? He drove off in the patrol car, nevermind the State Patrol officers and deputies from two counties.


Naturally, Anthony wished to elude pursuit. He did so by driving 90 mph, passing some cars and forcing others off the road. He was rapidly approaching the city of Lakeview when he encountered spike strips placed in his way by the police. But not even the setback of flat tires slowed him down. He could still control the disabled car and outrun the police!


We will never know what he might have done if he had reached Lakeview. Following standard procedure, a state patrolman rammed the rear quarter panel of the stolen police cruiser, a move designed to spin and slow the car. But due to the flat tire and Anthony's erratic driving, the vehicle spun off the road and rolled.


Anthony's final mistake? He had neglected to fasten his seat belt. He was thrown from the car, and died a week later. Whether or not he managed to learn anything during that final week of reflection, one hopes that others will.


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Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Death of a Writer

I went through some of my old short stories, clearing out the ones that were pure crap and whatnot and I ran across the story below. I realize I have a throng of new readers that have never seen it, so I thought I’d repost it for their benefit. I hope you enjoy it…


I see him glide from shop to shop, Barnes & Noble, B-Dalton, Camelot Music. He’s pathetic and weak, with his superficial smile and hollow words. Who does he think he is? If he would stop being so full of himself for a moment and cast a glance behind him, he might catch the clerks rolling their eyes as he walks away or at least watching him. Surely, that’s disgust in their eyes, isn’t it? He’s a blemish, a flaw, a stain on society. He’s everything that’s wrong with this world. He’s-- He’s-- He’s stopping at the food court? Holding that smile so long must have caused him to work up quite the appetite.

The Golden Wok, huh? Good Moo Shoo there. I bet he’s one of those pompous bastards that-- yep, there he goes, he’s nabbed a pair of chopsticks. Look at him. What a scumbag, he’s trying to talk the lady at the register out of charging him the dime for them. What an ass. She caved, probably just to get him out of her sight. Honestly, who eats with chopsticks in the food court? Someone who thinks there better than the rest of us, that’s who.

What a pig! Look at him shoveling it in. He’s hovering over the carton like a momma bird protecting her young. Of course, he can use chopsticks; he’s holding the box right next to his mouth. I’d like to take one of those chopsticks and shove it-- What is he looking at?

Oh, shit! Why is he staring at me? Look away. Be calm. Let’s order something. Get the Moo Shoo. He’ll think you were just interested in his food. Now, this lady’s smile at me is genuine. She gave me two sets of chopsticks for free. I didn’t even have to ask. I reached for them and she turned away. What a nice lady.

Now, where do I sit? Not too close, if he’s smart he’s watching to see what I do right now. Not too far though, I wouldn’t want him to slink away. I have a public service to perform here. I need to observe him. See what makes him tick. See the effect he has on those around him. I have to learn so that I might teach.

I guess lunch is over, he’s on the move. What the hell does he think he’s doing? He just cleaned his own table. He’s so vile. Doesn’t he know that if everyone starts doing that, there’ll be no jobs for minimum wage workers? How are these kids supposed to put themselves through college if people like him eliminate their jobs?

Oh, I guess he’s had his fill of shopping, he’s making a beeline for the door. I wish this parking lot was smaller. What if he sees me again? I made it to my car first. What does a guy like that drive? Figures, he’s in a gas guzzling SUV, a Trailblazer; a God Damned, overpriced, gas sucking, pollution riddled, global killer.

He drives like my Grandma, letting people pass him left and right. What a moron. He sickens me.

Where the hell is this guy going? We’ve been driving forever. Shit, he must live out in the Boonies. Heh, that might not be such a bad thing. Is that--? Hell yeah, it’s a fucking cow. We just passed a pasture with cows and shit.

Finally, he’s pulling into a driveway. Wow, that’s a big house. Two stories. I bet he bought it just to show how much better he is than his neighbors. I’ll pull around the block here and see if I can-- Oh, shit! The garage door is closing, can I make it under without him seeing me? Hell yeah, I’m in. I’ll give him a few minutes to get settled.

His house smells like vanilla. I bet he burns those candles to keep it like that. What’s that sound. Rat-at-tat-tat. It’s coming from around the corner. Maybe if I’m quiet, I can sneak a peek without him noticing. Ah, it’s typing. He’s sitting at the computer. I’ll go in nice and slow. He looks like he’s into what he’s writing. There’s no way he’ll hear me.

Oh, God. It’s so hard not to bust out laughing. I’m standing right behind him and he doesn’t even know it.

What the hell? He’s writing down everything I’ve thought since I saw him. Where’s those God Damned chopsticks. I’m gonna put an end to this once and—



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Monday, April 28, 2008

Weekend Recap

The weekend went by far too quickly…again. By Friday, we were all wiped, so we settled in to watch a movie and retired early.

Saturday I got up early and ran three miles. Well, I ran a mile and a half and then walk/ran the last mile and a half, but it was the longest distance I’ve been able to accomplish since I blew out my Achilles’ tendon. I have a good feeling that this will be the summer that I fully recover from that God awful injury.

I’m coaching my son’s spring basketball team. We had a game Saturday morning. The kids played their little hearts out, but we were seriously outmatched. They lost by a large margin. I think they still managed to have fun though, which is kind of the whole point of it all at this age.

I managed to pump out another thousand words on my WIP between events. I’m only about 40K away from the end now.

That evening we got together with my BIL & SIL for a cookout and a friendly game of Spades. A good time was had by all.

Sunday I hand-delivered autographed copies of The Dance to my mother and my grandmother. That was exciting. My mom was so excited she kept picking it up and looking at it almost the entire time I was there. My grandmother lives in a retirement community and she took me around to show me off introduce me to her friends. My head was definitely held high all day.

So, what did you do this weekend?

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Friday, April 25, 2008

Friday 55

Alright folks, the object of the game is to write a story using exactly 55 words. If you participate, be sure to drop a comment at G-Man’s blog so others will know how to find your story.



Eyes narrow with murderous intent. His prey evasive, but his grip grows tighter. It must be done, it’s what he does. Knuckles grow white from the strain. He will not give in. Movement, a subtle dance beneath his fingers. A twist, a turn, it pulls free with a pop. The pickle jar is finally open.



Also, this week I received the new cover art for my latest novel, Pixels and Pain. So, I just had to share…







Here is a blurb:


Johnny Walker is a FBI agent in need of answers. His sister was murdered a year ago and the police still don’t have a suspect.


Mary Marshall founded a watchdog group to rid the world of online predators after her sister fell victim to a charismatic stranger she met on the popular website, HiyaSpace.

The similarities of their losses bring the two together and hurl them down a path wrought with peril, betrayal and unimaginable suffering at the hands of a madman whose unspeakable deeds threaten to destroy them all.


Will they be able to put an end to his reign of terror? Or will they be forever lost in a maniac’s world of Pixels and Pain?


And in still other news…I’m now taking over Saturday duties as the other male perspective at Oh, Get a Grip!. So, come by and see me this weekend if you get a chance.

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Thursday, April 24, 2008

Book Review: The Dead Room

I recently read The Dead Room by Heather Graham. This is not your typical paranormal romance novel. Don’t believe me? Wait until you read the refreshing, yet surprising ending. Does it have plenty of romantic elements? Of course it does. This is a Heather Graham novel after all, but I think this story would also appeal to those readers who would normally snub their noses at anything that has romance in the description.

This story has everything I look for in a great novel: Intrigue, suspense, quick pace, vivid descriptions (that don’t drag the story to a crawl) and a strong character driven plot.

I found the book so captivating I lost track of time, and subsequently a fair amount of sleep. It’s easy to immerse yourself in a world filled with such unforgettable characters.

Blurb


A year ago, archaeologist Leslie MacIntyre barely survived the explosion that took the life of her fiancé, Matt Connolly. In the long months since, she's slowly come to terms not only with her loss but with her unsettling new ability to communicate with ghosts, a dubious 'gift' received in the wake of her own brush with death.
Now she's returned to lower Manhattan's historic Hastings House, site of the explosion, to conquer her fears and investigate a newly discovered burial ground. In this place, restless spirits hold the secrets not only of past injustice but of a very real and very contemporary conspiracy with deadly designs on the city's women—including Leslie herself.
By night Matt visits her in dreams, warning her and offering clues to the truth, while by day she finds herself helped by—and attracted to—his flesh-and-blood cousin Joe. Torn by her feelings for both men, caught between the worlds of the living and the dead, Leslie struggles against the encroaching danger that threatens to overcome her. As she is drawn closer to the darkness at the heart of Hastings House, she must ultimately face the power of an evil mind, alone in a place where not even the men she loves can save her.


Rating: 5 of 5 Stars






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Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Dar-Wednesday

An experienced 47-year-old rescue diver was filming an underwater video of a wreck 44 meters below sea level, 9 meters deeper than the recreational diving maximum. Deep diving warrants special training and extra safety considerations. There he was, filming a video in deep water. To keep the audio track clear, he turned off the alarms on his dive computer. His buddy, working on the other side of the wreck, did the same.


Defeating the safety... harbinger of so many Darwin Awards.


Sixteen minutes into the dive, he was out of air, a situation that should never sneak up on a diver. But he had turned off the safety alarms, and he was out of sight of his buddy. The diver made a rapid ascent up the anchor line. At 18 meters, the divemaster tried to assist him. But the panicked diver refused to take an alternate air source, and appeared confused. The diver continued his inexorable flight to the surface, where he lost consciousness and could not be revived.


The cause of death: "Air embolism (nitrogen bubbles) due to rapid ascent."


Was it an accident? This experienced diver deliberately disregarded two basic safety rules: pay close attention to your gauges, and stay within reach of your buddy. If he had attended to his gauges (and not turned off the alarms) he could have made a controlled ascent, including a decompression stop for safety. If he was near his buddy, they could have shared air as they both made a controlled ascent. Either precaution would have saved his life.


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Tuesday, April 22, 2008

No Place Like Home

The RT Convention was incredible. I met some fantastic authors and even more fantastic readers. I’m so tempted to name drop, but I met so many, that I’m afraid I might overlook someone and I definitely wouldn’t want anyone to feel slighted after such an awesome weekend.

Everyone was very friendly, I was welcomed with open arms everywhere I went for the entire weekend. Have you ever been to an event where the everyone seemed to be split into cliques and any attempt you make to talk with the “wrong” crowd left you feeling immediately uncomfortable if not downright alienated? Well, you won’t find any of that with this crowd.

I met and tried to spend as much time as possible with several of my fellow RP authors and of course, the publishers Leigh and Jess. You couldn’t ask for a better group to be part of. These ladies were all fantastic and each brought a unique lovable attribute to the gatherings that made each affair more memorable than the last. I can’t wait to hang out with them again.

They had a wide assortment of workshops for both seasoned veterans and aspiring authors that were not only informative, but also quite entertaining to boot. Both Friday and Saturday evening found us shaking a leg in the ballroom and indulging in a wee bit of drinking.

On Saturday after the dance, we moved to the lobby bar and wound in a rather engaging conversation with a young man who invited us to a party. Being the adventurous type, I said “oh hell yeah!”

It turns out the young man was one of Heather Graham’s sons and the party was in their suite. It was very cool, but as the evening wore on, I felt bad for them. It was quite clear that they were getting tired, but the party showed no signs of slowing. Ah, life on the road…sometimes it throws you curve balls, sometimes it just throws you.

I’m in the midst of trying to get caught up, so I must keep this short, but before I go I must do a touch of bragging.

My first book signing for The Dance went very well. How well? I sold my entire inventory and well before the book fair was over. Here is a pic from just before they set the readers loose on us. :D



And now, I must get back to work. So, what did you do with your time while I was away?

Oh, and please swing by to see M.E. Ellis today. She has posted a fabulous review of The Dance on her blog.

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Thursday, April 17, 2008

On the Road Again

Well, I’m making a list and checking it twice. Yes, I’m off to the land of the Naughty and Nice. This is where I will do my first official book signing for The Dance.


I’ve been working on a quick pitch for the inevitable, “So, what’s your story about?” The answer has evolved over the last few months and I think I will go with variations of this:




This is really two stories wrapped up in one. On the one hand, it’s the story of a broken hero. We catch him near the end of his downward spiral, see him hit rock bottom and rise from the ashes as a better man. He and his partner Anna will constantly have their sanity tested as they pursue what they think is just a sadistic killer.


On the other side, it’s the story of how far a man is willing to go to prove his love for a woman. Unremarkable, in itself, but when you take in account that the man is a serial killer and the woman a lusty demon, well…you can imagine how he goes about proving that love.


Take a journey into the mind of a serial killer as you watch Kyle transform from a murderer, wrestling with his demons into a supernatural predator who embraces them.


When the two stories collide that’s when all hell breaks loose.





Sound intriguing? Hopefully, it will be enough to garner some interest from the masses at RT.


Wish me luck…

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On the Road Again

Well, I’m making a list and checking it twice. Yes, I’m off to the land of the Naughty and Nice. This is where I will do my first official book signing for The Dance.


I’ve been working on a quick pitch for the inevitable, “So, what’s your story about?” The answer has evolved over the last few months and I think I will go with variations of this:




This is really two stories wrapped up in one. On the one hand, it’s the story of a broken hero. We catch him near the end of his downward spiral, see him hit rock bottom and rise from the ashes as a better man. He and his partner Anna will constantly have their sanity tested as they pursue what they think is just a sadistic killer.


On the other side, it’s the story of how far a man is willing to go to prove his love for a woman. Unremarkable, in itself, but when you take in account that the man is a serial killer and the woman a lusty demon, well…you can imagine how he goes about proving that love.


Take a journey into the mind of a serial killer as you watch Kyle transform from a murderer, wrestling with his demons into a supernatural predator who embraces them.


When the two stories collide that’s when all hell breaks loose.





Sound intriguing? Hopefully, it will be enough to garner some interest from the masses at RT.


Wish me luck…

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Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Dar-Wednesday

That’s right, it is time for another installment of The Darwin Awards.


Snowmobiles and alcohol are a dangerous mix. Then came the rabbit.


After a day spent partying and racing snowmobiles in the wilderness, a group of snowmobilers headed back to their cabin. Up popped a jackrabbit! The snowmobilers gave chase. Several collisions were narrowly averted, and all snowmobiles backed off... except one.


This snowmobiler kept his eye on the quarry and rapidly closed in. The rabbit darted aside to save itself. The snowmobiler closed in again. The rabbit ran toward the road, where there was less snow. Trying to ram his rabbit before it crossed the road, the man accelerated to Mach 1. But the rabbit had other ideas. It escaped into the culvert beneath the road.


Witnesses stated that the snowmobiler never braked. There was a metallic crunch as the accelerating vehicle rammed into the culvert, followed by a blast that shattered the snowmobile into a thousand bits.


This brand of snowmobile had a fuel tank mounted in front. The culvert admitted the tip of the snowmobile, then cut into the cowling, spilling fuel over the hot engine. The body of the snowmobiler was blown twenty feet back into the field.


The rabbit's whereabouts was unknown.


Who else instantly thought of Bugs and Elmer Fudd?

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Tuesday, April 15, 2008

The Mist

The Mist is a movie about a catastrophic event in a small town and how quickly such an incident will cause society to crumble. The special effects were outstanding, the acting better than average and the plot was very intriguing. It had the makings to be a truly great movie…until the end. The last few minutes of the movie, had me sitting on the edge of the couch saying, “no, no, no, no.” and then when the big surprise came, I jumped to my feet and shouted, “you’ve got to be kidding me! That sucks!”


So, be warned if you watch this, you will not walk away with a warm and fuzzy. Having said that, it’s still worth watching as it was a very entertaining movie.


Synopsis



The Mist (also known as Stephen King's The Mist), is a 2007 American horror film based on the 1980 novella The Mist by Stephen King. The film is written and directed by Frank Darabont, who had previously adapted Stephen King's work and had been interested in adapting The Mist for the big screen since the 1980s. With an ensemble cast including Thomas Jane, Marcia Gay Harden, Laurie Holden, Toby Jones, and Andre Braugher, Darabont began filming The Mist in Shreveport, Louisiana in February 2007. The director revised the ending of the film to be darker than the novella's ending, a change to which Stephen King was amicable. Unique creature designs were also sought to differ from creatures in past films. The Mist was commercially released in the United States and Canada on November 21, 2007.

After a vicious storm wreaks havoc in their small town in Maine, artist David Drayton (Thomas Jane) heads out to the town supermarket for some much-needed supplies with his young son, Billy (Nathan Gamble), and his neighbor, Norton (Andre Braugher), in tow. Their trip soon turns to terror when a menacing white mist settles in, leaving this group of locals and out-of-towners fighting for survival against an unknown, bloodthirsty enemy. When the local religious zealot (Marcia Gay Harden) begins to convince the group that the mist is punishment from God, Drayton and his cohorts realize that they may be trapped inside with an enemy just as dangerous as whatever is lurking outside. Tension runs high in this tale as the trapped group faces difficult moral decisions. Should they stay and wait out the terror, or make a break for it and risk suffering a terrible fate? Is the eerie mist the will of God, an experiment from the local military base gone awry, or, maybe, a freak natural disaster? Without modern conveniences and the normal conventions and rules to guide them, the group is easily swayed by the loudest opinion. Will they save themselves at the expense of each other, or work as a team to save everyone? There is a decent amount of blood and gore for horror fans, some deadpan humor and just a hint of politics thrown in for good measure. Thomas Jane is a stoic leading man, but Frances Sternhagen and Toby Jones are more fun as unlikely heroes. Laurie Holden, Alexa Davalos, Bill Sadler and Jeffrey Demunn also star in this creepy tale.



Rating: 4 out of 5 Stars




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Friday, April 11, 2008

Friday 55

Alright folks, the object of the game is to write a story using exactly 55 words. Susie is the one that started it all, but she has passed the monitoring duties into G-Man’s capable hands. So if you participate, be sure to leave a comment on his blog so others will know how to find your story.




The pink blanket slips from her fingers, floats to the floor. She stares at it, unbelieving. The painted faces of clowns on the wall smile at her, taunting her. Their faces swell and distort as the heat in the room rises. Flames lick at her skin. Her broken heart slows…stops. She doesn’t need it anymore.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Book Review: The Curse

The Curse by Maddie James is a paranormal, time-traveling, pirate-ridden, pulse-pounding, romance with more than a little suspense sprinkled throughout for added flavor. This was a fantastic read.


The Curse hits the ground running and never looks back. The opening chapter finds the hero, Jack Porter, trying to rescue his abducted wife from a pirate ship…single-handed. Oh, did I mention that the ship is captained by none other than Blackbeard himself? I caught myself holding my breath as the action ensued.


Maddie wrote such vivid accounts of the time-travel aspect, I could almost believe such an event was possible. This story is overflowing with action, drama and love scenes. Yes, there is a fair amount of sex in this little adventure.


This book was the first installment of her The Legend of Blackbeard’s Chalice series and I anxiously await the next one.




Blurb



Jack Porter is in hot pursuit of his kidnapped wife. Not an easy feat considering it is 1718 and the kidnapper is the notorious pirate, Edward Teach aka. Blackbeard. Determined to rescue his wife, Hannah, and take the pirate’s head in the process, Jack sneaks aboard the pirate’s ship but is too late. Hannah dies in his arms.


Nearly 300 years later, Claire Winslow vacations on a secluded east coast island, where the image of a man walking the misty shore haunts her. Then he comes to her one night, kisses her, and disappears. The next night they make love and he tells her his name is Jack. But did they really make love? Or was it a dream? And why did he call her Hannah?


The Curse sends Jack and Claire on a wild search through time for a powerful historical artifact – the silver-plated chalice made from Blackbeard’s skull. This chalice holds the key to their destiny and their love. Only with the chalice will they be able to reverse Blackbeard’s Curse.


Will they find it in time? Or are they destined to be parted by fate once more?




Rating: 5 of 5 Stars






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Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Dar-Wednesday

Thank you for all of the kind words yesterday. Your support and kindness humbles me. Now, let’s move on to something slightly lighter.
That’s right, it is time for another installment of The Darwin Awards.


(November 2007, Russia) Late at night, Eduard entered the apartment of a 30-year-old handicapped man, who slept peacefully as Eduard quietly cleaned out the valuables. Eduard was preparing to leave when suddenly the man woke up.


"I couldn't believe my eyes! The dark shape of some goon standing next to my nightstand!" recalls the burglary victim. "I cried out, and he attacked me, who was defenseless, with his fists! I had no choice. I hit him between the legs with my crutch! He leapt out the window! Thank God I live on the first floor, and he did not die from the fall. I didn't understand at first what had fallen out of his pants. When I looked closer, I realized that it was a testicle, a man's testicle! I put it in cold water, and rushed to the phone."


The handicapped man dialed the emergency services several times, but "the doctors hung up on me when I told them I had ripped a burglar's balls off!"


Half an hour later, the blood-covered thief was found by a passerby, who called the police. "An unconscious man was lying on the sidewalk," a police investigator disclosed. When the medics revived him, he started screaming hysterically, 'Give me back my balls!'"


Eduard's genitals were so traumatized that doctors had to amputate the entire scrotum to prevent gangrene. In the hospital, Eduard filed a complaint with the police. He said "I will never forgive him!"


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Tuesday, April 08, 2008

Passing

I received news yesterday that Dennis Holland has passed away. He was a friend, a bro, a fellow biker. He took me to my very first bike rally in Oklahoma. We’ve shared many a laugh and more than a few beers. No matter what was going on around us, he always had a smile or a bit of insight to share that made everything seem somehow more bearable. I can honestly say my life is truly better for having known him.

Dennis, surely there is a magnificent bike waiting for you now to take you on the long ride. What would heaven be, if it deprived you of one of your favorite loves? When you straddle that beast and begin the journey, just remember to keep the rubber side down.

May eternity give you always:
The sun on your face
The wind at your back
The temperature cool against your skin
The pavement smooth
The road long and winding,
Adventure around every corner

May the scenery be beautiful beyond words
The smell of the open rode be stronger than you ever remembered
The beer taste better than you could ever imagine
The music infect your soul
The sounds of joyous celebration follow you for eternity.

Wherever that road leads you, know that you will forever be in my memories.
Ride hard, my friend.
You will be missed.

Monday, April 07, 2008

On The Hunt

We drove to within a quarter-mile of the spot. All four of us (my nephew came along for the adventure) peered out the windows to make sure no one was in the area. This mission required stealth. If anyone were to see us, we could jeopardize the entire network.


We hopped out of the car and quickly loaded up our gear. My son insisted it was his turn to carry the backpack full of supplies, so we let him, I slung a pair of binos around my neck, my nephew carried nothing but a smile, and my wife was armed with a handheld GPS system.


We quickly slipped away from the road and into the brush. Once sure we were properly concealed, I used the binos to sweep the area. The coast was clear. My wife took point, following the arrow on the GPS. We stayed right behind here, still looking over our shoulders as we beat a trail deep among the trees and patches of thorn bush.


There was movement from a trail up and on our left. I gave the signal and we all fell to a crouch amid the waist high foliage. A couple of hikers were out on a leisurely stroll. We kept quiet, four pairs of eyes watched them until they disappeared around the bend.


My wife pointed at the display on the GPS. We were getting close. We moved on. At last, the proximity alarm went off. We were within twenty feet. I gave the order to spread out. Look to the trees, the ground, it could be anywhere.


A section of brush was unusually dense near the base of a tree. Someone had rearranged it to be so. I dropped to one knee and spread the tiny limbs. Jackpot…we had found a cache.


Yes, my family and I are now obsessed with the wonderful world of geocaching.


Geocaching is an entertaining adventure game for gps users. Participating in a cache hunt is a good way to take advantage of the wonderful features and capability of a gps unit. The basic idea is to have individuals and organizations set up caches all over the world and share the locations of these caches on the internet. GPS users can then use the location coordinates to find the caches. Once found, a cache may provide the visitor with a wide variety of rewards. All the visitor is asked to do is if they get something they should try to leave something for the cache.


I first learned about geocaching by reading Mark Rainey’s blog. He’d mentioned it several times, but it wasn’t until he posted a link to geocaching.com that I decided to go check it out.



This is a fun game that can be enjoyed by the entire family. As most of you know, we spend a good deal of time outdoors as it is, but of the 15 caches we’ve found so far, at least 10 of them have brought us to places we normally wouldn’t have even noticed. It’s amazing how our minds just don’t register our surroundings until it is absolutely necessary.


So, have you ever heard of this game before? Are you a player or a muggle? Don’t know what I’m talking about? Well, I suppose you may have to read the website to find out. :D


How did you spend your weekend?

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Friday, April 04, 2008

Friday 55

Alright folks, the object of the game is to write a story using exactly 55 words. Susie is the one that started it all, but she has passed the monitoring duties into G-Man’s capable hands. So if you participate, be sure to leave a comment on his blog so others will know how to find your story.



Fingers grip me, tender, rough, urgent. She gulps in air between the moans. Her body glistens with sweat. My hands slide under her, grip her shoulder, brings her closer. She gasps. She pushes. Her body falls limp. I grip her hand. The baby’s cry pulls me away. Tears of mourning fall on tears of life.

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Thursday, April 03, 2008

Killer Clowns

Well, I thought I’d do something a little different today and give you a glimpse of my current WIP, Tuttle’s House of Horror. I hope to have it finished up and ready for release by Halloween. A lofty goal I’m sure, but a goal none the less. This is just a snippet of a scene from the opening chapters. Enjoy…


Adam led Kali up the steps. He stumbled near the top causing them both to break into a giggling fit. They staggered onto the second floor, looking for a suitable room to commandeer.

“Let’s take the one at the end of the hall,” Kali suggested.
“Oh yeah, less chance of someone walking in on us that way,” he agreed.
“Or hearing us.”
“Good point. You do tend to get rather vocal with the loving.”
“Would you have it any other way?”
“Not a chance,” he laughed.

Adam kissed her on the neck before giving her a playful bite. He picked Kali up, carried her into the sparsely furnished bedroom, swung the door shut with the heel of his shoe and laid her on the bed. They kissed feverishly as they shimmied out of their clothes. He had just buried his face between her breasts when the door eased open.

“Trick or treat,” a voice whispered through a clown mask bearing a huge grin that exposed rows of pointed teeth.
“What the hell?” Adam growled, turning just in time to see someone closing the door.
“Trick or treat,” he repeated, still in a hushed tone.
“Not funny, asshole. Can’t you see we’re kind of busy here?” Adam said with forced laugh.
“Get your own room,” Kali added. “This is a party for two.”
“Trick or treat,” the twisted clown said again, closing the gap to the end of the bed in two strides.

Kali grabbed a pillow and covered herself. “Jimmy is that you?”
Instead of answering, he leapt onto the foot of the bed, landed on his knees, shoved his arms up both sleeves of his leather jacket and sat there.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Adam yelled. “This ain’t no peep show.”
The man continued to sit there, just staring at them.
“If you don’t get out of here right now, I’m going kick your ass,” Adam warned.

His arms sprang free of the sleeves with lightning speed, light reflecting from the long jagged blades he now held in both hands. He lunged forward, stabbing them both through the throat before they could scream. Blood shot forth, coating the sheets, the wall above the headboard. Adam and Kali thrashed, gargling and gasping for air. The clown bounced up and down on the bed, both arms lashing out over and over, rising and falling, pushing and pulling, plunging in rhythm to an unheard song. The clown had become an evil conductor of a demented orchestra of death.

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Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Dar-Wednesday

It’s time for another installment of The Darwin Awards.


(1989, South Africa) Downtown Johannesburg is continuously growing with the construction of modern new buildings. One such building was designed with a steel framework, intended to be clad in glass as a final touch.


On the eighteenth floor, an engineer wanted to inspect something outside the framework. He asked one of the workers to stand on a scaffold that was projecting through an open space where the glass panel would soon be mounted. With the worker acting as a counterweight, the engineer walked out onto the scaffold, checked the exterior, and came back in to continue his inspection.


After the engineer left, curiosity got the better of the worker. He walked out on the scaffold to see what the engineer was looking at...


The worker removed himself from the gene pool out of sheer stupidity. But one does wonder whether that engineer is blithely continuing to ask trusting people to act as counterweights without explaining his reason, and leaving a trail of bodies in his wake!



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Tuesday, April 01, 2008

The Morning After

Well, for those of you who missed the interview, we had a bit of a rough start, but I think we recovered nicely. I have to say…it was a blast. I had a few deer in headlights moments, but overall it was a fantastic experience.


The ladies conducting the interview were an absolute delight. If you get a chance, you should really catch one of the shows. They air every Monday night at 9pm EST. Here again, are the details:


To have readers and friends participate, you can share the following instructions:
Call the show at (310) 984-7600 and enter Show ID 245692. Or, visit the show at http://www.nowlive.com/show/AlekaNakis.



Also, if you are just crushed that you missed the interview, no worries… it is saved on the show’s website in the archives (3/31/08). http://www.nowlive.com/show/AlekaNakis.


And now for something completely different… A list of Good ‘Ol Boy’s pick up lines:




1) Did you fart? Cuz you just blew me away.

2) Are yer parents retarded? Cuz ya sure are special.

3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea, I can't hold it in.

4) Do you have a library card? Cuz I'd like to check you out.

5) Is there a mirror in yer pants? Cuz I can see myself in em.

6) If you was a tree and I were a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer
hole.
7)You might not be the best lookin girl here, but beauty's only a
light switch away.

8) Fat Penguin........ Sorry, I just wanted to say something that would
break the ice.

9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer
bed-rock.

10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me? I think he went into this
cheap motel room.

11) Yer eyes are as blue as winder cleaner.

12) If yer gunna re gret this in the mornin', we kin sleep til'
afternoon.

And.... The best for last!




13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts
tighten up

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