Rants, Raves, & Random Thoughts

Shameless self-promotion of my writing skills or lack there of.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008


It’s time for another installment of The Darwin Awards.

(6 August 2008, Hong Kong) It's raining. You're lonely. Why not?

That was how 41-year-old Xian found himself face down on a bench, and calling for help in the middle of the night. The lonely man had noticed that the steel sit-up benches in LanTian Park had numerous ventilation holes, and thought it might be possible to use them for sexual gratification.

Enticing orifices.

Once Xian became aroused, he found he was stuck and could not remove himself from the hole in the bench. Quite understandably, he panicked. Police received a call from a disturbed man, and arrived to find poor Xian trapped face-down on the bench.

Doctors were summoned to the scene. They tried, but emergency workers had to cut the entire bench free and take him to the hospital.

Four painful hours later, doctors finally separated Xian from his bench. It is certainly possible that the lack of blood flow easily could have caused sufficient damage that doctors would have been forced to remove his penis.

This is a bad date that Xian will never forget. Though he lived through the ordeal, he still managed to effectively remove himself from the gene pool, making him quite eligible for this prize.



At 5:34 AM, Blogger Mona said...

Yahtzeee! Yippie!

At 5:34 AM, Blogger Mona said...

Today is Galen's birthday!

Now I'll go & read your post!

At 5:38 AM, Blogger Mona said...

James! now that is what I call real horror story!! You should have used that in your coming book & also about a man sliding down a sword using his balls as brakes!

At 9:40 AM, Blogger G-Man said...

Well, at least he is still alive to tell the story...
Thanks for the B-Day wishes James.
It's an honor and a priveledge being your friend...Galen

At 9:42 AM, Blogger lime said...



ok, i dont' even have the same equipment as that guy and i am just clenching my thighs and wincing in pain thinking about it. i do, however wanna ask him what was wrong with his hand!

At 3:52 AM, Blogger James Goodman said...

lol, Mona... that's a good idea. :D

The feeling is mutual, Galen. :D

Oh, it is definately cringe worthy, Lime. :D

At 4:41 PM, Blogger Donnetta Lee said...

Ooo. Gives ya cold chills on a couple of different levels! Staying warm, James? You know we are supposed to get ICE next week. Oh, my. I'm giving a Christmas brunch on the 20th and worried about the weather. Oh, well. If it falls through, more food for me!! D

At 5:35 AM, Blogger Anny Cook said...

Just goes to show where some men have their brains... Geez.

Have a good day!

At 1:58 PM, Blogger g-man said...

No posts in a week?
Try and do a 55 this week OK???

At 8:57 AM, Blogger Mona said...

It will be your birthday in India in a couple of hours.

Wish you a very Happy birthday James & many happy returns!



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