Rants, Raves, & Random Thoughts

Shameless self-promotion of my writing skills or lack there of.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008


That’s right, it is time for another installment of The Darwin Awards.

(February 2005, Canada) Canadian winter nights are long and usually quiet, but one exception was the night Constable Morgan responded to a drunk driver call. He caught up to the errant driver and fell in behind in order to establish the commission of the crime. In a short distance, the driver missed a curve and slid into a snow bank. Morgan switched on his lights, stopped his patrol unit, and approached the driver's door.

The driver decided to flee. His tires, mired in the snow, spun wildly but the car went nowhere. Constable Morgan thought he would have a little fun. He began running in place alongside the driver's window. The driver was surprised to see the Constable keeping up with his car. The speedometer read 100 kph.

Constable Morgan broke the window glass with his flashlight and ordered, "Pull over!" The driver's response? He jammed the pedal to the metal!

The car's speedometer had reached 175 kph yet, astonishingly, the Constable was keeping pace and ordering the driver to stop. Finally, convinced he was never going to outrun the fleet-footed officer, the drunk man let off the gas, turned the wheel, and brought his car to a "stop." The Constable escorted the man to his patrol vehicle, which had magically followed the two on their mad dash across the snow-covered tundra.

The man was charged with DWI, speeding, and failing to yield to a policeman. Brought before the judge for arraignment, the man, who had not quite regained his wits, saluted the incredible athletic prowess of the local officers.



At 4:10 AM, Blogger Mona said...


At 4:11 AM, Blogger Mona said...

I am relishing my mouthfuls of fuller's earth!

At 4:14 AM, Blogger Mona said...

In India no one gets charged for speeding.
We only get killed!

( Chomp Chomp)

At 4:37 AM, Blogger James Goodman, Author said...

Now, Mona I must confess, that I've never heard of a candy called Fuller's Earth.

To me Fuller's Earth is a claylike material that certain industries use to purify animal, mineral and vegetable oils and greases.

So, when you first mentioned it, I was a bit confused, lol.

WHat does it taste like? is it hard or soft? is it sweet, tangy, tart? Inquiring minds want to know. :D

At 4:52 AM, Blogger G-Man said...

"In India no one gets charged with speeding, we only get killed."
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha....Sorry, that just struck me as so funny...G

At 5:01 AM, Blogger James Goodman, Author said...

lol, but quite true so I hear. There are no actual traffic laws, merely suggestions.

At 6:14 AM, Blogger lime said...

LOL, i love the police officer's idea of fun. that's fabulous!

At 6:19 AM, Blogger James Goodman, Author said...

lol, I know, right? That was just awesome. :D

At 7:34 AM, Blogger Mona said...

yes yes... that is what Fuller's Earth is. It is white Clay, quite layered like sedimentary rocks are & It tastes Yum, like ..um..like...

James... you would have to EAT it to know what it tastes like...

We also use it in powdered form , mixed with sandalwood powder and rose water as a face pack. It is a mini face lift & gives a radiance to the skin ( Information: for your wifey)

Well, it tastes somewhat like CHALK, have you eaten chalk?

How would you know if you haven't:( & How will I be able to tell you :((

If you REALLY want to know, just get a chalk piece & taste it, or rather taste the fuller's earth itself..

...It is smoother & much better tasting than earthen pots...Those are the last option when there is no chalk or alum or fuller's earth around...

Please ask Galen what this mania or addiction or whatever is called... it has got a name, he told me, I forgot it.

At 7:36 AM, Blogger Mona said...

It is hard rock like in dry form , but it melts in your mouth once you put it on your tongue & has your ( My) juices flowing!

No Puns, Or innuendos intended !! Understand?

At 7:44 AM, Blogger James Goodman, Author said...

Ah, gotcha. Oddly enough I have tasted chalk. Thanks for the tip. I may have to break me off a piece the next time I'm somewhere while it is in use. :D

lol, perish the thought, Mona. Innuendos to that statement never crossed my mind. :D

At 10:00 AM, Blogger Mona said...


James, tag! You're it!

At 3:08 PM, Blogger Breazy said...

Oh dear I really have no words about this particular story...if you give me a minute to quit laughing I might think of something. :)

Hope your day is going great!

At 6:45 PM, Blogger Kelly Kirch said...

Ha!!! Oh my gosh that's priceless. I LIVE for your wednesdays.

At 7:22 AM, Blogger Anny Cook said...

Heh. Love that constable!


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