Rants, Raves, & Random Thoughts

Shameless self-promotion of my writing skills or lack there of.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008


That’s right, it is time for another installment of The Darwin Awards.

(25 March 2007, Oregon) Anthony was stopped for speeding. The 20-year-old was driving a vehicle that checked out as stolen in Idaho. The deputy called for backup, and placed the suspect in a patrol car. Here, Anthony had his first great idea! He thought he could outsmart the police, a notion that often proves harmful to the perp.

While the officers had their backs turned, Anthony managed to move his handcuffed hands from behind to in front of his body. His second great idea was to wiggle through the small window to the front seat of the patrol car. His third great idea? He drove off in the patrol car, nevermind the State Patrol officers and deputies from two counties.

Naturally, Anthony wished to elude pursuit. He did so by driving 90 mph, passing some cars and forcing others off the road. He was rapidly approaching the city of Lakeview when he encountered spike strips placed in his way by the police. But not even the setback of flat tires slowed him down. He could still control the disabled car and outrun the police!

We will never know what he might have done if he had reached Lakeview. Following standard procedure, a state patrolman rammed the rear quarter panel of the stolen police cruiser, a move designed to spin and slow the car. But due to the flat tire and Anthony's erratic driving, the vehicle spun off the road and rolled.

Anthony's final mistake? He had neglected to fasten his seat belt. He was thrown from the car, and died a week later. Whether or not he managed to learn anything during that final week of reflection, one hopes that others will.



At 6:28 AM, Blogger Breazy said...

I have never understood why people run from the police in the first place. I mean staying out of trouble so that you don't have a run in with the authorities is a great idea and it is easy as well, some of my cousins haven't grasped the stay out of trouble concept yet and they are known on a first name basis at our local police station. I am sure that one of them will be on here for pulling a stupid stunt such as this one day.

Hope you have a great day!

At 6:40 AM, Blogger James Goodman, Author said...

lol, yeah... I never understood the flight concept either, Breazy. Do you plan to run forever? Because that what it'll boil down to once they have you in cuffs. You're in the system, there is no real escape from that point.

Freedom is tenuous at best. Never do anything that enables another to take it away from you. It's a simple message, but one that should be taken to heart by any and all would be criminals. :D

At 7:16 AM, Blogger Kelly Kirch said...

And we live in a society which allows you to run because of your basic rights. So many countries shoot on sight and that's expected.

Heck, we lived in Riyadh (Saudi Arabia) when traffic was stopped and everyone forced out of their car to watch the lopping off of a thief's hand before his stub was dunked in boiling tar.

Running Stateside wastes time, resources, and money but ultimately you will be tried. Exibit: OJ. Though maybe he's a sucky example since he got off.

At 7:21 AM, Blogger James Goodman, Author said...

That's quite true. As far as punishment goes, we're one of the most lieniant countries ever to grace planet earth.

At 7:36 AM, Blogger Kelly Kirch said...

Yep and we totally abuse that gift.

At 7:42 AM, Blogger James Goodman, Author said...

oh, totally. But, I mean why not? With the exception of the high potential for rape, prison life is better for some than what they can achieve on the outside. Three squares a day and a cot, cable TV and excercise room and the potential to make friends who can help them elevate their criminal aspirations once they are released...

At 12:18 PM, Blogger lime said...

foolhardy, and the comments from all three of you, breazy, kelly, james....it puts it all in perspective doesn't it?

heck, even in trinidad the cops shoot first and ask questions later.

At 3:17 PM, Blogger Donnetta Lee said...

Poor old Anthony. He never could do anything right.

At 3:29 PM, Anonymous Colleen Gleason said...

Yo ho hooo! Just stopped by to say hi. I'll add you to my blogroll!!

Great to meet you at RT!

At 3:53 PM, Blogger James Goodman, Author said...

It sure does, Lime. If we instituted mandatory viewing of Dubya does Germany, it would probably curb a whole slough of our rising crime trend. :D

lol, Donnetta. And now he never will.

Hi, Colleen. Thanks for stopping by. :D It was great to meet you as well. I hope to see you in Orlando next year. I'll save you a seat at the booksigning. :D

At 8:34 PM, Blogger jillie said...

No brains NO headaches!!!

At 7:10 AM, Blogger Anny Cook said...

Heh. Nooooo thinking power. Sad.

At 7:15 AM, Blogger James Goodman, Author said...

lol, Jillie... you nailed it. :D

Very sad, Anny. With some of these stories, I wonder how the individual managed to survive for as long as they did.


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