Rants, Raves, & Random Thoughts

Shameless self-promotion of my writing skills or lack there of.

Thursday, February 14, 2008


Ah, Valentine’s Day has arrived. It is the day of lovers, the day of joy, a celebration of life, love and the pursuit of sex happiness. I contemplated delivering another post extolling the undying love I have for my wife, but I figure most of you are sick of hearing me talk about how much she means to me. Before you ask, yes I still love her as deeply if not more so than the day I met her.

Instead of my regular tribute, I’d like to take a minute to recognize the agony this day causes so many. I’m not just talking about the ones who find themselves single with bad timing, the hopelessly lonely, the devout misers, nor the tragically isolated. No, I’m going to talk about the poor schmoes who underestimate the importance of letting their loved ones know how much they care on this most commercialized revered of all holidays for couples.

Whether it be from folly due to only dating for a short time or from being in a relationship for so long, they take the holiday for granted, there will be dullards who show up on the door steps of their significant other with only a card and a smile and fully expect to make it through the evening alive.

Hear me brothers (and sisters in some instances), if you want the evening to end with copious amounts of heavy petting, followed by marathon sessions involving baby oil, candle wax, nipple clamps, leather garments, odd vibrating toys and/or a midget or two, then you have to lay the groundwork first.

Sell your plasma, hawk your baseball cards, put your prized comic book collection on eBay, make a trip to the local sperm bank, hell take a second mortgage on your house if you must, but I beg of you, do everything in your power to make sure you shower her with flowers, boxes of chocolate, stuffed animals, a hand selected music list of romantic songs for her iPod (in the old days a mix tape would’ve sufficed here, but the times they are a changing) and enough jewelry to make her look like a female Mr. T. Nothing says I love you like going so far in debt it will take the rest of your natural life to pay everything off.

All kidding aside, you shouldn’t need a holiday to remind your soul mate how much they mean to you. If you really love someone, everyday is like Valentine ’s Day. Gifts, while nice, are a poor substitute for intimacy. A well time caress of the cheek can create just as strong a memory as a tennis bracelet. A passionate kiss for no other reason than you’re just glad to see her walk through the door can pack the same wallop as a box of assorted chocolates. A heartfelt “I love you” as you lay with her in your arms will last far longer than a dozen roses. Actually listening, to what she has to say will give her something to hold onto long after the stuffed gorilla goes into the closet.

Treat each other with love and respect. That is the sole secret to a long and healthy relationship. Oh, and it doesn’t hurt if you can work in porn star amounts of sex as often as physically possible.

What was that? Does this mean I’m not getting my wife anything for the big day? Do I look suicidal? I’m getting her anything and everything she wants.

So, how do you plan to celebrate?



At 8:49 AM, Blogger lime said...

i have always appreciated the tributes to your wife and son. it is a beautiful thing to see a man love his family and be unembarrassed to express it.

Gifts, while nice, are a poor substitute for intimacy....

that whole paragraph (and the next one) sums it up perfectly. i could be the happiest woman alive without a penny being spent (especially since part of what makes me really happy is a zero balance on the credit cards). you're a wise man...many would do well to sit at your feet and learn.

wishing you and your wife a special valentine's day.

At 8:58 AM, Blogger James Goodman-Horror Writer said...

i have always appreciated the tributes to your wife and son.

Ah, thank you, Lime. They really do mean the world to me. I just can't imagine my life before them.

Careful, you'll make me blush with your kind words. :D

Sadly, the paragraph rings too true for comfort. It was meant as satire, but too often I see, particulary with young couples, people trying to express their love with material things. Are they trying to prove their love for their SO or to the world or...maybe, they're just trying to prove it to themselves.

True love is the greatest gift one could possible hope to give...

At 10:32 AM, Blogger Donica Covey said...

Thanks for dropping by my place. A very happy Valentine's Day to you!

Donica Covey

At 10:41 AM, Blogger James Goodman-Horror Writer said...

No worries, Donica. I'm betting it we be quite the happy holiday around here. :D You have a great day.

At 11:04 AM, Blogger Breazy said...

You are such a sweet caring soul James, especially towards your family.

Shawn and I will not be doing anything special tonight, instead we will spend it with the kids watching movies, tv shows or playing games.

I, like Lime, do not need a penny spent on me. Showing love is more important to me than anything.

Happy Valentine's Day!

At 11:13 AM, Blogger James Goodman-Horror Writer said...

Ah, Thank you, Breazy. That sounds like a lovely way to spend the evening. :D

At 11:34 AM, Blogger lime said...

yep, i caught which parts were satire and which parts were serious. loved it all. you and your wife a blessed, and the greatest thing is that you know it and aren't afraid to show it.

At 11:52 AM, Blogger James Goodman-Horror Writer said...

I really appreciate that, Michelle. :D

At 4:10 AM, Blogger Bernita said...

Nothing special.
My husband brings me roses every week, you see...

At 5:13 AM, Blogger James Goodman-Horror Writer said...

As it should be, Bernita. :D Sounds like you're married to a good man.


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