Rants, Raves, & Random Thoughts

Shameless self-promotion of my writing skills or lack there of.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008


It’s time for another installment of The Darwin Awards.

(10 December 2007, Russia) As a child, Sergei promised his grandmother, "I will establish for you the elixir of immortality! I want you to live forever." As an adult, we find Sergei sitting in his college biology class, licking potassium cyanide off his palm. He had found the magic elixir: swallow poisons daily, to strengthen his body and protect him from death.

He regularly consumed small quantities of toxic mushrooms, arsenic, and cyanide salts, and urged others to join him during daring night-time excursions. "I shall not die," he said. "I have long drank poison, and my body today, nothing can kill."
After swallowing the KCN, he began to feel ill, and asked his comrades to fetch him some water. But instead of drinking plain water, he dissolved the rest of the cyanide powder in it, and consumed the solution.

Sergei was an intelligent 18-year-old, interested in chemistry and anatomy. He earned "a gold medal" and was "easily accepted into two universities, the Medical Academy and the Ural State University." But Sergei's scientific premise was flawed. Instead of immortality, he had discovered the elixir of mortality. He suffered convulsions, slipped into a coma, and died without regaining consciousness.
His father called Sergei a gifted chemist who died for the sake of science.



At 6:16 AM, Blogger lime said...

i think those magic mushrooms made him delusional....or moreso that he already was. and um, hello to the parents? they had to have more than a couple screws loose if sergei was talking like that and they thought that was normal and ok.

At 6:19 AM, Blogger James Goodman-Horror Writer said...

No doubt. Can you imagine hearing your kid talk about poisoning himself and saying, "Oh, that's nice dear. Let me know how that works out for you." It boggles the mind.

At 12:44 PM, Blogger Breazy said...

So if we go by Sergei's opinion..in order to prolong life drink poisons and other such harmful chemicals. I can see it now like a skit taking place...

Husband.. "honey, what will you have to drink with your meal?"

Wife.. "I think I will have some arsenic with toxic mushrooms since I don't like olives..oh and dear, don't forget to dip the rim of my wine glass in cyanide salts..yummy!"

LOL! I agree with Lime..what were the parents thinking? I mean if we were supposed to have immortality God would have made us that way.

Thanks for the laugh!

At 1:28 PM, Blogger James Goodman-Horror Writer said...

lol, that is some funny stuff, Breazy. :D


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