Rants, Raves, & Random Thoughts

Shameless self-promotion of my writing skills or lack there of.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Dar-Wednesday

It’s time for another installment of The Darwin Awards.

(26 August 2006, Leicester, England) Darren's death was a mystery. The 33-year-old was found slumped in the hallway of his house, bleeding from stab wounds to his chest. Police initially assumed that an assailant had attacked him, but they could find no supporting evidence. A year later, the inquest revealed why Darren can stake his claim to a place among the winners of the Darwin Award.

Darren had called a friend, but minutes after he hung up, rang back to ask for an ambulance. The front door was ajar, and Darren was found lying near a bloodstained lock-knife he had purchased whilst on holiday in Spain. Forensics investigators saw no indication of a struggle, and the coroner reported that the stab wounds seemed to be self-inflicted. However, Darren had shown no suicidal tendencies.

His wife, who was on holiday at the time of the incident, cleared up the mystery, and revealed why our subject will go down in history as a Darwin Award winner. As she was leaving for the holiday, she remembered Darren wondering whether his new jacket was 'stab-proof'.

That's right. Darren had decided to find out if his jacket could withstand a knife attack. Did he choose to test his jacket while it was draped over the back of a chair? No, our man decided that the best approach would be to wear the garment and stab himself. Sadly, his choice of armor proved less resistant to a sharp blade than he had hoped.

The coroner reached a verdict of accidental death by 'misadventure'.




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2 Comments:

At 7:39 AM, Blogger Breazy said...

LOL! I know the dead isn't something to be laughed at but come on! This guy was obviously a few fries short of a Happy Meal. He could/should have purchased a doll to try it on.

You know some people in Darren's situation would have stopped to think that if the jacket were stab-resistant then we all would own one!

Have a great day James and thanks for the laugh!

 
At 7:41 AM, Blogger lime said...

i never cease to be amazed at the stupidity that sober, and seemingly intelligent people exhibit.

 

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