Rants, Raves, & Random Thoughts

Shameless self-promotion of my writing skills or lack there of.

Wednesday, August 22, 2007


It’s time for another installment of The Darwin Awards.

(24 June 2007, Colorado) If you get "Footloose" and cut the rug on an oil tank, be sure not to light a cigarette (or bong of weed) else you may soon be walking up the proverbial "Stairway to Heaven".

News reports say a crude oil storage tank exploded as two teens were jumping on it, hurling the youths to their deaths. The tank, owned by Pinnacle Oil Company, exploded during a party in Routt National Forest. The victims were identified as Samuel and Christopher, 17 and 19.

After smoking marijuana and liquoring themselves up at this "popular party spot," the "Footloose" teens decided that it would be fun to leap and cavort upon a mostly-empty oil tank. Their energetic "Saturday Night Fever" gyrations caused fumes to leak from the relief valve...

"There were several ignitions sources," according to Rio Blanco County Under Sheriff Michael Joos. One teenager was smoking, and there was a bonfire nearby. One or another of these "ignition sources" sparked a flash dance that sent the two teens hurtling 150 yards away from the explosion.

So let's go over the Check Points, aka The Rules:

1. Reproduction: at 17 and 19, they weren't married, nor had they reproduced, nor can they now reproduce. Check!

2. Excellence: They thought it was wise to jump up and down on an oil tank containing 160 barrels of crude oil, while stoned out of their gourds. Check!

3. Self Selection: These two were stoned insensible, and drunker then the town drunk, while dancing on a oil tank exuding flammable vapors. And there's a campfire nearby. Check!

4. Maturity: At 17 and 19, both are over the minimum age of 16. Check!

5. Veracity: MSNBC.com and AP. Big check.

In the end, this was definitely a "Footloose" dance that turned into a "Flash*BOOM*Dance!



At 10:20 AM, Blogger lime said...

ah youthful folly.....why is it that names of several kids i went to high school with leap to mind (pardon the pun) as folks i coudl picture doing this?

At 3:13 PM, Blogger Donnetta Lee said...

Beyond Belief.

At 8:58 AM, Blogger Carrie said...

They just get better and better. lol

At 4:26 AM, Blogger Leslie said...

What morons! I hope no trees were hurt in the National Forest. Why was there a storage tank in the middle of a National Forest anyway? Aren't they supposed to be "all natural" and full of America's beauty and splendor?


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