Rants, Raves, & Random Thoughts

Shameless self-promotion of my writing skills or lack there of.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007


It’s time for another installment of The Darwin Awards.

(21 February 2004, Ottawa, Canada) Ameer, a second-year engineering student at Carleton University, was celebrating his 20th birthday with friends in his 11th-floor apartment when they embarked on a spitting contest. His two friends had already made their marks. Ameer thought he could use his engineering skills to improve his performance. A quick mental calculation of trajectory, projectile velocity, and wind speed indicated that winning required more than a simple "stand and spit" technique. Ameer took a running start, flew over the balcony railing, and plunged to his death.

"It was purely accidental," said Ottawa police, "momentum carried him beyond." The building's security guard heard the thud. "He was one of the smartest guys I ever met in my life," the guard said. "He had a maturity beyond his age."

Spitting contest deaths are becoming a trend. In 1999, a 25-year-old soldier in Alabama won the first Darwin Award in this category in 1999, using the same techinque and achieving the same result. 23-year-old Bartosz of Mt. Prospect, was nominated for falling 20 feet onto his head in December 2005. Bartosz is remarkable for having fallen over an apartment railing without running start. But Ameer clearly trumps his competitors with his 11-story fall.

Perhaps the three have reunited in the afterlife, arm in arm, sailing through the air, their projectiles suspended in front of them like bullets in the Matrix movies.



At 8:30 AM, Blogger lime said...

i weep for our future if ameer is one f the smartest guys with a maturity beyond his age....good grief.

that being said, i've enjoyed my share of watermelon seed spitting contests (i avoid the loogie spitting contests though). i'll keep in mind to stay at ground level when competing.

At 9:27 AM, Blogger Breazy said...

if this guy was smart he would have thought about spitting while running, it only comes back you, just ask my son!

At 2:59 PM, Blogger Donnetta Lee said...

The Spit Club, huh? Hit at and missed; spit at and hit. Oh, my.

At 7:25 PM, Blogger Sandra Ruttan said...

Proof that even the really smart guys are still technically stupid?

(Sorry, I'm going...)

At 9:34 AM, Anonymous snavy said...

Ok -- "He was one of the smartest guys I ever met in my life," the guard said. "He had a maturity beyond his age." Doesn't really describe a 20 year old still engaging in spitting contests, does it?


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