Rants, Raves, & Random Thoughts

Shameless self-promotion of my writing skills or lack there of.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

I Have a Dream

I am not the man I thought I would be when I was a child. Oddly enough, I’m alright with that. Some say, that a child’s dreams directly affect the person they will eventually become. Whether they are crushed or realized, our earliest dreams shape the expectations of what the world has in store for us.

Some dreams are just silly. For instance, I distinctly remember a phase where I wanted to be the captain of a pirate ship. I’m so glad I didn’t go down that path. At the time though, it seemed like a very exciting life that demanded respect.

Sometimes dreams are realized, but you discover the romanticized version from your mind is no where near the reality. For as long as I can remember the most recurring dream was to be a soldier. No matter where my mind took me, I would invariably return to this one. I wanted to be feared and respected. I wanted to be some crack special forces. I wanted to jump out of planes or spring out of holes to take down my enemies. I wanted to be the silent assassin, taking out entire platoons in the middle of the night. I wanted to rush into a fire fight with a trigger squeezed in each hand. RATATATAT. Follow me to hell, men! And let’s face it…I wanted to blow shit up. It sounds like a grand time, doesn’t it? Being a soldier wasn’t nearly as fun as my dreams. It was a glorious time of sorts. I served with pride and honor, but I was glad to leave that life. That dream degraded to nightmares of pleading eyes that haunt me to this day.

Other dreams are harmless. I had a fleeting dream of being a cowboy, riding my horse across the range. Sleeping by a campfire, seemed like a perfectly reasonable way to pass the time.

Of course, I also had the standard dreams: I want to be an astronaut, a doctor, a rock star, an actor, a fireman, a police officer. Ah, but like most dreams, the older I got, the less likely any of these wonderful vocations suited me.

Arguably one my favorite childhood dreams was to be an archeologist. Yes, I’m sure this was in no small way born shortly after my first viewing of Indiana Jones, but it accounted for hours and hours of fantasy and daydreaming.

You may notice that in the childhood dreams, there’s no mention of writer. That’s because, I didn’t develop a passion for that until I was in college. When it took root, there was no turning back. It took me many…many years before I was able to produce a saleable product, but man…I’ve sure had a lot of fun learning along the way.

Now that I’m grown up (yes, for those of you who know me in person I use the term loosely), my dreams have changed. Now, I dream of being not only a great father, but of being a grandfather. I dream of not only being a good husband, but of growing old holding the hand of the woman who stole my heart in a way I never thought humanly possible. I dream of retiring early. I dream about making dreams come true for others in my life.

I guess the important thing is that I still dream.

What are your dreams? Have they changed much since you were a child?


At 6:49 AM, Blogger lime said...

what a WONDERFUL post, james. i've had somethign of this ilk in my drafts for months and haven't been able to quite polish it up to make me happy enough to post it.

in some ways my dreams have changed as drastically as yours have. in otherways they are nearly identical from childhood. some i gave up as folly (those along the pirate ship captian vein). other's were snatched away cruelly, some i laid down and forgot about but now i hear them waking from sleep and calling, others i've clung to and fought for fiercely.

your last paragraph sums it up most completely and i echo the sentiments most heartily.

thank you.

At 7:53 AM, Blogger Breazy said...

Great post! My dream, oddly enough, has always been to be a singer. I love to sing and it makes me happy. I hope you have a good day!

At 11:31 AM, Anonymous snavy said...

Wanting to be a pirate is not a silly dream at all. In fact, you should have stuck with that one. There are far too few pirates in the world today.

Some of mine have changed, some have faded away. Some became reality. Others, became reality but NOT in the manner in which I'd imagined.

At 11:42 AM, Blogger James Goodman said...

Thank you, Lime. I'd be interested to see your post on this. Perhaps, you'll take it out of the draft soon? :D

Oh, I love to sing as well, Breazy. I bet you have a better voice than I do though. :D

lol, Snavy. I bet I would have made a formidable pirate. :D

At 6:00 PM, Blogger Donnetta Lee said...

My dreams, huh? I always dreamed about being happy. Later, I learned that there is something to be said for being content. I had the standard dreams of being an actress, a mom, a doctor. I also wanted to be an archeologist. Read books, went arrow hunting in New Mexico, and so on. Now, I have dreams for my next life. Is that far-sighted or what? Donnetta

At 7:42 PM, Blogger EA Monroe said...

James, ~laughing~ Donnetta's far-sightedness speaks for me too! I'm always dreaming!

Wonderful post. I'm glad you dreamed about becoming a writer!

At 3:18 AM, Blogger Bernita said...

Ha, I wanted to be an archaelogist too! I wonder if it was the idea of discovery combined with treasure.
The odd thing is - if you can satisfy a small part of that dream, it tends to recede.

At 5:35 AM, Blogger James Goodman said...

lol, that is pretty far-sighted, Donnetta. Are you not happy?

thanks, Liz. I'm still always dreaming myself. It's good to have dreams.

I think you may be on to something with the idea behind the archeologist there, Bernita. Perhaps, it is just a tangible variation of what we do with our writing? The receding dreams makes me sad. Probably because there's more truth to it than I care to admit.

At 8:44 AM, Blogger Carrie said...

Sometimes I forget about stuff like this. I wanted to be a ballet dancer. I started studying at the age of 4 and quit when I was 12. That was the only thing I ever wanted to do.

At 10:33 AM, Blogger James Goodman said...

If it was the only thing you ever wanted to do, it begs the question...why did you quit? (if I'm not prying to much). It seems that if you did it for 8 years, this is a dream that is quite obtainable...

At 5:12 AM, Blogger Leslie said...

I love this post! I've always had a dream to be an architect. I love the contemporaty sylings of Frank Lloyd Wright. Since redecorating our apartment though, I think I may have to tone it down to interior decorating.

At 6:21 AM, Anonymous linda said...

Dreams...where would we be without them..for some of us our dreams are all we have.

At 4:50 PM, Blogger James Goodman said...

Ah, that makes me sad. :(


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