Rants, Raves, & Random Thoughts

Shameless self-promotion of my writing skills or lack there of.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007


It’s time for another installment of The Darwin Awards.

(19 March 2005, Michigan) "Unusual" and "complicated" is how the Missaukee County sheriff described the mysterious death of 19-year-old Christopher.

After an evening spent imbibing large quantities of alcohol, Christopher noticed a shortage in his liquor supply that could not be attributed to his own depredations. He concluded that his neighbor had stolen a bottle of booze! He menaced the neighbor with a knife, to no avail, whereupon he retired to his own apartment to brood about revenge.

Finally he figured out the perfect way to get back at that conniving bottle-thief: Christopher would stab himself and blame the neighbor!

A witness saw Christopher enter the bathroom as he called 911. He calmly informed the dispatcher that his neighbor had stabbed him. Witnesses said he looked fine when he emerged from the bathroom, but a moment later gouts of blood spewed from his chest. Suddenly he began screaming begging for help. The dispatcher heard a woman shout, "Why did you do this?" He collapsed at the door of his apartment.

Deputies arrived quickly, but Christopher had already bled to death from self-inflicted stab wounds to his chest. An autopsy determined that he had stabbed himself in the chest twice. The first wound apparently didn't look dangerous enough, so he tried again. The second time, the knife plunged into his left ventricle. This wound was plenty dangerous: he had only two minutes to live.

Christopher died in vain. His deathbed accusation of his neighbor failed, as a witness confirmed that the neighbor was not in the apartment. All Christopher got for revenge was an accidental death sentence.


At 4:50 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think this one takes the cake. this has got to be the absolute stupidest thing I have ever heard.

At 4:50 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh, and as for new blogger......fight the good fight....i lost

At 5:40 AM, Blogger Leslie said...

What an idiot.

At 8:51 AM, Anonymous linda said...

I agree with lime this one takes the cake!!!!! proving once again that women are smarter :-)
excluding you of course son.

At 9:34 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've read this one before.

Still as moronic as the first time I saw it.

At 10:36 AM, Blogger Carrie said...

Oh Jeez!

At 12:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The world is not short of stupid people however , this one takes the cake!

I am taking a break from painting and I just had to have my weekly dose of Darwin. LOL! Thanks have a good day!


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