Rants, Raves, & Random Thoughts

Shameless self-promotion of my writing skills or lack there of.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006


It’s time for another installment of The Darwin Awards. His friends just thought he had a big mouth.

(29 January 1998, Ohio) Hungry or just plain stupid? Wednesday was a fateful day for Michael. He was shooting the breeze with a group of buddies, watching a friend clean his fish tank, when the friend complained that one specimen in particular had become a fishy menace. It had outgrown the tank, and was eating other denizens of the aquatic community.

Michael volunteered to assist. He seized the five-inch fish and attempted to swallow it. Unfortunately, the fish continued its predatory ways by sticking in his craw. As he gasped futilely for breath, turned blue, and sank to his knees, his three friends realized that something was amiss. They phoned 911 and informed the dispatcher that Michael had eaten some fish, and was having trouble breathing.

Paramedics were quickly dispatched, and they arrived to find the fish tail still protruding from the victim's mouth. Despite their best efforts neither the fish nor the twenty-three-year-old could be resuscitated. The killer fish had claimed one last victim.

"If I dare you to jump off a bridge and you do it, you're stupid," Police Major Mike Matulavich said. Apparently Michael was not a victim, he was just another Darwin Awards contender.


At 4:40 AM, Blogger lime said...

ok, stupidity #1: a five inch fish is pretty damned big to take in one swallow
stupidity #2: his idiot friends never thought of the heimlich?

the whole lot of them sound lower than the fish on the evolutionary scale!

At 5:22 AM, Blogger James Goodman said...

Yep, stupidity abounds, lol.

At 8:25 AM, Anonymous linda said...

I can't help but wonder...If the tail was hanging out why didn't someone (even the victim) just reach in and pull it out???
sounds kinda "fishy" to me. :-)

At 9:39 AM, Blogger Carrie said...

Poor little fish!

I still can't stop laughing about the mistletoe.

At 9:59 AM, Blogger snavy said...

Um ... also, if the tail was protruding from his mouth, couldn't someone have just pulled it out??

By someone I mean even the victim.

At 11:47 AM, Blogger Breazy said...

oh gag ! He was stupid for putting the fish in his mouth in the first place because like Lime said " that is a big fish to swallow" secondly I also agree with the others that the whole gang of them had their fair share of stupid because they didn't try to help other than to call 9-1-1!Thanks for the laugh!

At 12:23 PM, Blogger James Goodman said...

lol, yeah...me thinks his friends deserve an honorary award for being as dumb as the deceased. :D

At 1:01 PM, Blogger Sandra Ruttan said...

See, I'm not a big fan of fish dinners.

And what an idiot! People who think raw fish is a delicacy...blech!


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