Rants, Raves, & Random Thoughts

Shameless self-promotion of my writing skills or lack there of.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006


I’m having surgery tomorrow. After talking with my Doctor, it doesn’t look like the recovery time or the steps to get there are going to be nearly as horrible as the good folks at the ER made it sound. I’ll let you guys know more when I do.
Pain or no pain, the show must go on. That’s right, it’s time for another installment of The Darwin Awards. This one is so far fetched, I have trouble believing it, but it has apparently been verified by the good folks on the Darwin Committee.

(1996, Mississauga Canada) Some men will got to extraordinary lengths to prove how macho they are. Frenchman Pierre Pumpille recently shunted a stationary car two feet by headbutting it. "Women thought I was a god," he explained from his hospital bed.
Deity or not, however, Pumpille is a veritable girl's blouse compared to Polish farmer Krystof Azninski, who staked a strong claim to being Europe's most macho man by cutting off his own head in 1995. Azninski, 30, had been drinking with friends when it was suggested they strip naked and play some "men's games". Initially they hit each other over the head with frozen turnips, but then one man upped the ante by seizing a chainsaw and cutting off the end of his foot. Not to be outdone, Azninski grabbed the saw and, shouting "Watch this then," je swung at his own head and chopped it off.
"It's funny," said one companion, "when he was young he put on his sister's underwear. But he died like a man."


At 8:55 AM, Blogger Dazza McTrazza said...

I guess when it's cold and boring (as it so often is in Poland), there's only a finite number of men's games you can play until the old "let's chop our own heads off" suggestion rears its ugly, er, head, so to speak.

And if Canadian women are impressed by a man headbutting a car, I think I need to start selling beauty products up there - sounds like a con-man's heaven.

At 9:25 AM, Blogger Carrie said...

I don't know if they are "really" impressed by a man headbutting a car, dazza. But more of weeding out the dumb ones.

James, what is up with you? Go get a helmet before you do something serious. I am sorry for your pain though.

At 9:47 AM, Blogger lime said...

i'm certainly glad, as you no doubt are, that the most dire predictions are not so likely. i'll be praying things go smoothly tomorrow.

i am frightened that there are women out there turned on by men who headbutt cars (surely this fellow was deluded because he had shaken loose more than a couple screws). i am trying desperately to figure out why frozen turnips are part of 'naked men's games' (on second thought....i don't want to know) and intentional self-decapitation by chainsaw???? not in my wildest post-surgical drug haze would i ever have imagined any of this!

do we need to make sure mrs. goodman keeps all sharp implements out of your reach while you're on painkillers?

At 10:15 AM, Blogger Sandra Ruttan said...

Okay, any guy who headbutts cars, cuts off their foot or their head is definitely not macho. Just stupid!

Holy F^@k. No wonder you had a hard time believing that one!

At 11:20 AM, Blogger James Goodman said...

lol, Dazza, finite number of games not withstanding, playing let's cut off my own head, would have never occured to me.

Carrie, don't worry...I'm even wearing a helmet to bed this week. :D

Lime, she has already done so, lol.

I totally agree, Sandra. Stupid is as stupid does, ma'am.

At 1:55 PM, Blogger Dana Y. T. Lin said...

Gosh, and here I thought Ballpoint Wren had a chance at the Darwin's this week with her little finger mishap!

At 5:27 PM, Blogger EA Monroe said...

Good luck with the surgery, James! You'll be up running, jumping, and playing in no time. I feel your pain. I've got a stress fracture in my foot -- from walking the dog.

At 5:34 PM, Blogger James Goodman said...

lol, Dana. I don't think her mishap was near Darwin worthy. :D

Thanks, EA. Walking the dog?????

At 7:18 PM, Blogger Southern Writer said...

Someone tell me what Ballpoint Wren did, because I nearly cut off my finger with a chainsaw last Thanksgiving, and might want to compare notes.

Whatsa matter with you ladies? I am totally turned on by men who head butt cars, and decapitate themselves. That's way at the top of my list of studly traits to look for in a guy - second only to the huge life insurance policy.

Notice, though, he went for the big head and not the little one? Now getting the little one, that would be a truly macho man. I wonder how fast and hard he had to swing that chainsaw to get through the bones? They don't exactly make clean slices.

At 6:37 AM, Blogger Leslie said...

Forget that silly, yet hiarious, Darwin story... Surgery already?!? Geez, Dude! Hope it all goes well! We'll be praying for you! I told your cousin of your accident and he said "That's what he gets for kicking around like a kid." He has no compassion--Meanie pie! At least you'll have a beautiful in-home nurse for when you get out! Take advantage of her wanting to fluff your pillow--wink, wink!

At 2:34 PM, Blogger James Goodman said...

lol, SW. I don't know of any man (save maybe a tranny), that would even consider removing the little head.

Hey cuz, yeah that had to get me in there fast. Everything went well by the way. lol, at Jimbo's comments. I do enjoy having my very own hottie nurse at my beck and call... :D

At 4:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

We actors don't get a lot of water treatment till we get "really" famous - but we live and breathe our water treatment regardless. water treatment

At 7:18 PM, Blogger Southern Writer said...

Hey James, Just wondering how the surgery went / how you're feeling / how you're doing. Sending best wishes and looking forward to when you'll be posting again. Poor guy.

At 4:24 AM, Blogger lime said...

just checking in and hoping surgery went smoothly.

At 4:53 AM, Blogger esusetain said...

We actors don't get a lot of poolstore till we get "really" famous - but we live and breathe our poolstore regardless. poolstore

At 4:57 AM, Blogger James Goodman said...

thanks, Lesia. I'm here, but I'm hurting. I am mere seconds from taking the next roung of pain pills. I just wanted to hold off enough to have the clarity of thought to post an update.

I'll keep trying to post, but i don't know with what regularity for a while.

Lol, Lime it was smooth like my baby's bottom.

Now, I must go lay down...

At 12:39 PM, Blogger snavy said...


At 1:18 AM, Blogger ishraq said...

We chem guys don't get a lot of swimming pool chemicals till we get "really" famous - but we live and breathe our swimming pool chemicals regardless. swimming pool chemicals

At 1:48 PM, Blogger arppeggio said...

We chem guys don't get a lot of swimming pool chemicals till we get "really" famous - but we live and breathe our swimming pool chemicals regardless. swimming pool chemicals

At 5:19 AM, Blogger loahlam said...

Interesting blog about spas, keep up the good work spas


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