Rants, Raves, & Random Thoughts

Shameless self-promotion of my writing skills or lack there of.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006


It’s time for another installment of The Darwin Awards.

(1970s, Northern Ireland) Back in the late 70s, intelligence units in Northern Ireland were issued exploding briefcases to carry sensitive documents. These briefcases were lined with oxygen bricks. To arm the case, one simply removed a small pin next to the handle of the case. Thus armed, an opened case would instantly combust, destroying everything within a meter of it.

Because there was a half-second delay before the bricks ignited, the lids were designed to stop on a spring catch, so that no document could be rescued or photographed before it was destroyed.

To open the case safely, therefore, the sequence was:

1. Make sure the arming pin is in place.
2. Open the case.
3. Using a thin object such as a ruler, push back the spring catch.
4. The case will now open.

I won't embarrass the unit or the female Lance Corporal involved by naming names, but in this particular case, the sequence went as follows:

1. Make sure the arming pin is in place.
2. Open the case.
3. Look for a small thin object to push back the catch.
4. Find none immediately available.
5. Notice that the arming pin is a small thin object.
6. Use the arming pin to push back the catch.
7. Kiss one "intelligence" unit goodbye.

That's as bad as the genius at the grenade range who pulled the pin on his grenade and launched…the pin, keeping the grenade in his sweaty little paws…


At 6:04 AM, Blogger Leslie said...

Oh. My. Gosh. What an idiot!

At 8:28 AM, Blogger James Goodman said...

Hehe. You would think this would be something they practiced until there was little of no chance for mistakes.

At 8:52 AM, Blogger lime said...

faith an begorrah! how does one so moronic even attain such a post prior to blowing oneself up??

At 9:27 AM, Blogger Zinnia said...

You gotta wonder how people can be so damn dense, lol!

At 9:45 AM, Blogger James Goodman said...

That's a good point, Lime. Hmmm, I guess we will never know...

That's a fact, Zinnia. Of, course I should be grateful, if there weren't so many dense people out there, what would I blog about on Wednesdays? :D

At 11:00 AM, Blogger lime said...

btw...i'm 'the stand' by SK...hardworking. believer. hardy as a cockroach and not much of a gambler. LOL

took the girls to see pirates II. was much better than i expected. i enjoyed it a lot. now you MUST to know the ending damn near made me stand up screaming for a resolution. hahahaha. definitely one for the collection though.

At 11:15 AM, Blogger James Goodman said...

The Stand seems to be a common theme, lol.

Yep, pirates will definately make the collection.

I take it the vacation is going well... :D

At 11:53 AM, Anonymous snavy said...

There is nothing quite like a good people-blowing-themselves-up story!!

Do you watch Lost? I loved when the guy was going on about the dynamite - yada yada yada - then blew up. "You've got some Arnst on you." -- classic line!

At 12:08 PM, Blogger Sandra Ruttan said...

Another winner! Thanks James. It feels so wrong to laugh at someone's death...

At 12:30 PM, Blogger Callie said...

Some folks are wise and some are otherwise.
~Tobias Smollett

At 12:50 PM, Blogger James Goodman said...

Oh, I LOVE Lost, Snavy and yes, I totally remember the scene you're talking about. :D

No problems, Sandra. Laughter is medicinal, how could it be wrong? :D

Awesome quote,

At 1:22 PM, Blogger M.E Ellis said...

Hahahahaha! What a silly banana!


At 1:52 PM, Blogger James Goodman said...

lol, that's a new expression to me, M.E. :D Mind if I steal it?


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