Rants, Raves, & Random Thoughts

Shameless self-promotion of my writing skills or lack there of.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006


It’s time for another installment of The Darwin Awards.

(Late 1989s, Australia) A rather impressionable student of kung fu listened with rapt attention when his instructor dramatically informed the class, "Now that you have reached this level in your training, you can kill wild animals with your bare hands!"
The martial arts trainee took the statement as gospel, and headed to the Melbourne zoo to test his mettle with the wildest animal of all: the lion. In the dead of night, he slipped into the zoo, leapt into the lion enclosure, and engaged a suitable king of the jungle in combat.
He would probably have lost a one-on-one fight, but he never got to try. His naive fight plan didn't account for the enthusiasm of the lion's pride for a tender intruder; nor did it give sufficient weight to the possibility that his instructor didn't know what the hell he was talking about.
Zoo employees found his remains -- two arms and hands -- the following morning, with shreds of red fur grasped tightly in his fingers.

Heh, this sounds like something I would try…


At 6:02 AM, Blogger lime said...

lol, james you are too smart to try this. years ago there was a fellow who broke into the bengal tiger cage at trinidad's emporer valley zoo. he didn't fare any better than your kung fu student...especially sice the big cats were being severely underfed.

At 8:29 AM, Blogger Sandra Ruttan said...

I'm pretty sure this is the King of the Darwin Awards to date. Well, this and the guys who decided to see who could dangle off the bridge the longest.

At 9:41 AM, Blogger James Goodman said...

That's awesome, Lime. So, there are (were?) two people in the world dumb enough to try this...

Sandra, I almost forgot about "The Boston Danglers", lol.

Feeling smarter by the second...


At 1:28 PM, Blogger lime said...

yep, true story. these people make me feel like a mensa member!

At 4:14 PM, Blogger James Goodman said...

We should start a club! :D

At 5:00 AM, Blogger M.E Ellis said...

Umm, that man sounds like a complete d**k!


At 5:04 AM, Blogger James Goodman said...

A duck? :D


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home

Unclaimed Money Search - It is estimated that 9 out of 10 people are owed unclaimed government money and don't even know it! Find out how much you're owed with our free trial search.