Rants, Raves, & Random Thoughts

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Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Dar-Wednesday

It’s time for another installment of The Darwin Awards.

(5 July 1984, Chicago) Near the top of one of the Windy City's mighty skyscrapers, a twenty-nine-year-old attorney named Reginald was locked in a heated dispute with one of his colleagues. "They were arguing about the Olympics," remarked the firm's controller. Determined to settle the aspect under discussion, the two friends decided to have a race down a long hallway on the thirty-ninth floor of the building.
On the way down the hall, Reginald, who was not wearing his contacts due to a scratched cornea, lost his perspective and crashed through a plate-glass window. He fell thirty-eight* stories before striking the pavement, at which point his velocity was zero. A moment before he terminated his 6-second freefall, however, his velocity was approximately 94 miles per hour in a vertical direction. The abrupt velocity change proved too much for Reginald to withstand, and he promptly died.
This fatality marks the first recorded manifestation of so-called "Olympic Fever," previously believed to be a mythical creation of the National Broadcasting Company.
*Beginning as he did at the bottom of the thirty-ninth floor, he technically fell only thirty-eight stories, or thirty-seven if the 13th floor was absent, as is sometimes the case.


So…technically he won the race though, right?

11 Comments:

At 6:04 AM, Blogger For The Trees said...

Makes me wonder just how cheap the glass was. It SHOULD have stopped a man...but then, he WAS running. Idiot.

I don't know where you find these, but Lordy there seem to be a lot of'em. Maybe you could do a couple of pages of these on a Wensdy so we could stand around with our fingers up our noses and giggle at the stupidity of humankind.

More, More!!

 
At 7:52 AM, Blogger lime said...

holy crap!! i don't think i want to imagine the splatter mark.

 
At 9:24 AM, Blogger James Goodman said...

It's a thought, Forrest. There does seem to be a never ending supply of idgets...

Yeah Lime, I bet that was a helluva mess to clean up. :D

 
At 9:28 AM, Blogger Leslie said...

Some people...

 
At 10:02 AM, Blogger James Goodman said...

No doubt! :D

 
At 10:08 AM, Blogger snavy said...

OMG! Sometimes I feel so guilty laughing at these.

Except for the power line one and it's recreation - that one was freaking hysterical!!

 
At 11:08 AM, Blogger Breazy said...

LMAO! Man , I love the Olympics but not that much ! I am so glad we have stupid people to read about ! Thanks for the laughs.

 
At 1:54 PM, Blogger Sandra Ruttan said...

Technically he won the race?

Ha! Wasn't up for the celebration afterwards, though.

 
At 4:42 AM, Blogger James Goodman said...

No need, Snavy, these are guiltfree morons. :D

Me too, Breazy.

No, Sandra, I'm thinking he wasn't up for much of anything, except maybe a limbo contest...

 
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