Rants, Raves, & Random Thoughts

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Sunday, May 14, 2006

Happy Mother's Day

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of little children- The Crow.

And now for some silliness…

The Evolution of Mom

Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby. Here, some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first:

Your Clothes -

1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes are your regular clothes.

The Baby's Name -

1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites.

2nd baby: Someone has to name their kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you.

3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger falls. Bimaldo? Perfect!

Preparing for the Birth -

1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn't do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month.

The Layette -

1st baby: You prewash your newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

Worries -

1st baby: At the first sign of distress - a whimper, a frown - you pick up the baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing.

Activities -

1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

Going Out -

1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood.

At Home -

1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.


Make sure to call your Mothers today. And to all of you great mothers out there: Happy Mother’s Day!

7 Comments:

At 8:17 AM, Blogger Bernita said...

And we won't talk about the fourth baby...

 
At 8:20 AM, Blogger James Goodman said...

lol!

 
At 10:43 AM, Blogger lime said...

LOL, as mother of three i found this hilariously accurate and i recall the moment of teror when pregnant the third that i realized i'd have more children than hands and that mr lime and i were now outnumbered. lol

 
At 6:41 PM, Anonymous Jerry said...

Well that explains all my neuroses, being the sixth child.

That is hilarious, Goody.

 
At 7:50 PM, Blogger James Goodman said...

lol, lime outnumbered, but not outfoxed. :D

Glad you like it, Jerry. :D

 
At 11:37 AM, Blogger Sandra Ruttan said...

LOL James!

 
At 1:56 PM, Blogger James Goodman said...

:D

 

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