Rants, Raves, & Random Thoughts

Shameless self-promotion of my writing skills or lack there of.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Google me this, Batman...

I was browsing through the referrals in my site meter and it left me wondering what goes through the minds of some of these people as they type their search words into Google.

Oh, I know what some of them are thinking. For instance, every since I posted the book review for The God Particle by Richard Cox in which I mention the lovely Chera Kimiko, I have received some very…strange hits. Some of the tamer ones are: Chera Kimiko naked, Chera Kimiko partying, Chera Kimiko on Grand Lake. It makes me wonder if she has a lot of weirdoes emailing her on a daily basis.

Then I get the occasional hit that comes from way out in left field. Just the other day, I saw one that said, “Mother straddles his naked shoulders.” I mean, what the hell do you do with that kind of information?

In addition to these two, I have prepared a list of 10 things that people goolged that brought them to me:

1) “Hand in the Bush” Ok, were they looking for a reference to the adage or is this someone searching for porn, but afraid to use dirty words?
2) “I want you to dance” I see why this would bring them here. My problem is why they typed that into a search engine. Is this a song or were they actually telling their computer to dance? You laugh, but there are some dumb people out there.
3) “Funruly coworker” So, is the coworker fun or unruly? It could be that they are both, but then what makes this person think that they will find them on the internet? I guess there could be a group for such people FCA or some such. “Hi! I’m Bob and I’m a Funruly coworker.”
4) “Three men go to a cheap hotel” Are they looking for a cheap hotel or two other men to go with them? What will they do when they get there? I know…they’re going to Disney Land.
5) “Spank me” Pretty much self-explanatory, but I am not sure why that brought them to my site. That and it just made me laugh so I thought I would share.
6) “Rat atat tat that ass” I am assuming that it goes hand and hand with number 5, but with more enthusiasm. Perhaps number 5 and 6 should find each other. That could make for an interesting meeting. Might be even more interesting if they wound up be the other two men for number 4.
7) “Does semen cure sore throats” Of course, my inner pig wants to scream hell yes! But sadly all I can do is wonder what kind of a bad person takes advantage of someone that is so obviously naive?
8) “Why are women insane” Probably because of jackasses that try to use an illness to gain sexual favors. It sounds like someone is having some serious relationship problems.
9) “who’s your daddy” This one just makes me laugh every time I think about it. Why o why would someone google this?
10) “Hot hot hot” What the hell? Are they looking for the song, women, men, or peanuts? Get them while they’re hot.

I may have to build characters around the mental images I have created for the authors of these searches. Boy, do I love the internet…


At 4:15 AM, Blogger lime said...

'funruly' i may need to enter that into the lime lexicon. those others, man....peopel are seriously weird!

At 4:22 AM, Blogger James Goodman said...

Yes, there are some seriously demented individuals in this world.

At 5:06 AM, Blogger yep, it's me.... said...

i haven't had a sore throat in YEARS

At 5:43 AM, Blogger James Goodman said...

lol! Hell, maybe it does work. :)

At 6:13 AM, Blogger bsoholic said...

LMAO! I too get some really strange google hits - you'd be surprised how many people google *BS*. Hahaha - people are straaaange.

At 6:22 AM, Blogger snavy said...

LOL - too funny! And, oh yeah , people scare me!

At 6:42 AM, Blogger Bernita said...

Great, Goody!
Sends one's mind's down weird, really weird, pathways, don'tit?

At 9:12 PM, Blogger M. G. Tarquini said...

“Mother straddles his naked shoulders.” I mean, what the hell do you do with that kind of information?

There goes the diet cola, right across the computer screen.

I'm still laughing.

At 6:15 AM, Blogger James Goodman said...

Lol! Sorry about that. (passes tissue with sheepish look)


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