Rants, Raves, & Random Thoughts

Shameless self-promotion of my writing skills or lack there of.

Friday, December 23, 2005

The Darwin Awards

It’s that time again. The Darwin Awards had several tasty stories to choose from this week, but this one stood out from the pack. I hope you enjoy it.

(October 2004, Chiayi, Taiwan) Most rutting contests involve two male mammals, like the Rocky Mountain bighorn sheep (Ovis dallis), which ram into each other at high speed in order to impress a female sheep and win the right to procreate. These mammals tend to have unusually thick skulls and extra fluid surrounding the brain to prevent damage from the competition. Humans tend not to have such thick skulls and other natural adaptations, and therefore do not generally rut.
Of course man, the tool user, can find artificial means to overcome natural limitations. One well-known example of this behavior is the medieval jousting contest in which participants wear armor and ride horses toward each other at high speed.
The most recent observation of human rutting behavior occurred when two Taiwanese university students donned protective helmets and revved their motor scooters in an effort to impress a comely female of their species. The two were the same class, but not friends. Other classmates reported that both men fancied the same female student.
After indulging in a few drinks during the Mid-Autumn Festival, the two encountered each other, and words were spoken. The gauntlet was thrown down. In lieu of horses, the two would ride their motor scooters at each other at high speed, and the one who didn't turn away would win the exclusive right to pursue the female.
Obviously both were very keen on her, because neither of them turned away. Their scooters collided head-on at 50 mph. Both died instantly. The girl at the center of the rut refused to comment, other than to say that she "wasn't interested in either of them."

Yeah, that’s about right.


At 6:48 AM, Blogger lime said...

i never cease to be amazed by how stupid some people are.......

At 7:44 AM, Blogger bsoholic said...

Yup, people are dumb. This seems to be a case of Natural Selection.

LOL, she didn't even like either of them.

At 8:06 AM, Blogger M. G. Tarquini said...

In Chaucer, the Knight's Tale recounts the story of two cousins who pretty much kill each other over a girl who doesn't even know they exist.


At 8:14 AM, Anonymous Jerry said...

Out here on the farm that's what we call "thinning the herd".

At 8:20 AM, Blogger James Goodman said...

Lime, yes, but with out them how would I be able to entertain you on Fridays such as this?

BS, people that stupid don't deserve to waste our air.

MG, My thoughts exactly. You would think that if a man is goign to risk life and limb over a girl, he would at least find out if she is even remotely interested. I am too much of a romantic to attempt to claim that I would never risk my neck for the love of a woman, but if I don't you can bet your ass, that the feeling is as strong as it is mutual.

Jerry, I don't think that applies exclusively to the farm. :)

At 10:42 AM, Blogger lime said...

goody, indeed! and i thank youfor the groaners, the darwins, the stories, etc. they are all such fun.

do hav ea very merry christmas:D

At 2:13 PM, Blogger James Goodman said...

'tis my pleasure. :D

At 6:54 AM, Blogger Sandra Ruttan said...

"BS, people that stupid don't deserve to waste our air."

Tee hee. You've got that right! Great post goody. Catch you after the holiday hoopla.

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