Rants, Raves, & Random Thoughts

Shameless self-promotion of my writing skills or lack there of.

Saturday, April 16, 2005

One Man's Trash

My friend Shari stopped by my office this morning and said she had something that she wanted me to look at. The wind had blown a piece of paper into her yard and it settled near her front steps. She was in the process of picking it up to toss it in the trash when she noticed that it had something scribbled on it in pencil.

“What do you think it means?” She asked after I read it.
“It looks like someone’s attempt at writing a country song.” I laughed.
“I was wondering if this was something that this person witnessed or…”
“Maybe. It is a little hard to read though.”
“It looks like whoever wrote it was drunk or extremely uneducated.”
“Or both.” I said before my eyes were drawn to a faint picture sketched in the background. “Hey, did you see the picture?”
“What picture?” She asked taking the paper back.
“That picture.” I replied, pointing to the center of the page.
“Oh, my god! Is that a…”
“Yep, you brought me a picture of a naked lady.” I replied with a smile.
“I didn’t even notice that. Don’t tell anybody that I brought that to you.”
“Uh, sure. I won’t tell a soul.” I replied, keeping my crossed fingers concealed under the edge fo my desk.

I cleaned it up a bit, adding a few words and changing some grammar that seemed necessary to make the story semi-legible, but by and large this is what was written on the paper:

Take your drink to the end of the bar, buddy.
Come on now, don’t be a fool.
I’d rather have the hot seat in Sing Sing Prison
Than to sit down by her on that stool.
What’s that you say, well I guess you’re right
Ain’t nothing to me
See that man? She belongs to him, buddy.
Drink up and leave while you can.
I can tell by the way he looks at you buddy.
He is sure to be a quick tempered jealous man.
What’s that you say? Well I guess you’re right
Ain’t nothing to me
Ain’t nothing to me
There you are stretched out on the floor, buddy
See what you made him do?
There coming to take him to jail, buddy
And tomorrow, somebody will bury you
Ah well, that’s life on distant worlds.
Ain’t nothing to me
Ain’t nothing to me
Ain’t nothing to me
Ain’t nothing to me

So what do you make of all that?


At 9:33 AM, Blogger Leslie said...

Ha! Ha! 'Little Goody's college fund'. I love it!!

At 5:39 PM, Blogger James Goodman said...

Yeah, I couldn't resist. Hopefully, everyone will realize that it merely for entertainment purposes. I would feel bad if someone actually donated to it.


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